Restarting!

I actually have a bunch of posts that I keep as drafts because I used this as a place to vent. But now that I've set up multiple private tumblr accounts to categorize every type of rant I could have, this place has begun to feel neglected. I won't stop writing though, so my blogspot will keep account of this. It's also too much of a pain explaining why my main account has so many pictures and the value I intend for people to derive of them.

I'm impressed by the people who tirelessly update their lives online everyday. I have a vague grasp on who still subscribes to this page and normally that'd affect what I write - but it really doesn't mean a thing to me anymore. To follow is a disordered amalgamation of my thoughts.

Molly's owner is about to come in 3 hours - I really hope she doesn't return to us depressed. Dogs are so interesting. They're entirely caught up in the moment. Little of what they do is an investment for their future. They'll eat anything and everything because they don't know what could kill them. Her owner of 6 years, who I know dearly misses her, is coming but despite what we say or how we flail our arms, Molly can't share that excitement.

I've fixed my sleeping habits in under a day, and I've done it again! Ha!

The people who update their statuses on facebook regularly are a certain type of people. I know some of them blog but I don't know if I'd be too interested in reading what they have to say.

KHR is finally getting better but the pay-off isn't supposed to come 140 episodes later ._.

There's a letter I have to write but hand-writing letters expends a mental faculty that's become rusty. I can't approach them the way I would with an essay for school or even a rant on the internet. I have to take away the emoticons. I have to be aware of the aesthetic of the result of pen to paper. I have to decide between using black or blue ink. But the biggest issue I have is probably that I write so much and I'm disappointed when the effort isn't returned. It's not about how expensive the stationary was, which is why I have no shame writing on regular notebook paper. (I actually don't have a problem with wide vs college ruled because I squish twice as many words as I'm supposed to on the former).

This winter break has been much better than my previous one. Last year, I was recovering from the termination of a relationship but I came to receive healing overwhelming in the months that followed. Something as dumb as that was enough to jeopardize my standing as a student, again, but I've emerged from the world of academics triumphantly. There's nothing in the world quite like academic satisfaction.

As a commuter, there's a lot of things I've had to reprioritize as important or not. Fellowships and college-student-evangelic-duties got knocked down while my family went up the ranks. I don't really care about people anymore (but this is a statement I'm going to spend the rest of my life challenging). The site I used to play online games with an online community shut down. The amount of anime I've seen in the past few weeks is more than I've ever consumed at once. My circumstances have changed me. I'm a lot more short tempered, impatient, spoiled, reserved, judgmental than before (and you could say the T spectrum of the Myers Briggs continuum increased). On the other hand, I'm more organized, disciplined, efficient, focused, strategic and goal oriented than before. But did my character have to change so much in order for me to gain what I've gained? I hate speaking about the "human condition" because it's as annoying to me as dropping the word "society" around for any sort of vague universal validation, but I have a hope that perfectly well rounded people exist. I was a lot more emotional before, but I believe there are those who've retained that quality while getting a crapload of stuff done. There's no absolute give-or-take (man, I HATE this phrase) for people and they continue to surprise me the more I observe them.

Also, in anime, I put myself into a lot of the characters' shoes in terms of how they respond to people and situations. Whether or not my reactions are imbued by my upbringing or my personality, it's mindblowing how many times the main characters pick grace over revenge. Patience over blowing up. Service over reprimanding someone with the reasons why they don't deserve anything. It's hard to explain but they're just too nice. There are role models to be found and the otaku in me has no shame, thus I learn many a life-lesson from them.