(I mean, I've always been sober but now it's a matter of sobering up from being sad or overly contemplative. Right now, I am clear minded and moderately neutral (it helps that the time if the month is ovah). My writing is probably going to be really boring but here goes nothing:)
At 9:30am, I park the car by the stadium and board a shuttle bus. The crowd around me is the usual diverse hodgepodge of commuters, dormers, science majors, comm majors, athletes and Olympian-level LOL players. 70 percent of them are listening to something and the rest stare out the window and avoid eye contact with everyone. The walls we affectionately label our sphere of privacy are so apparent that they're almost tangible and no one can scale them unless we let down the drawbridge from inside.
The stale air reminds me of how one morning, I heard a freshman boy say to another boy, out of the blue, "I'm sorry if I smell bad - I still want you to enjoy your ride." (what a brave soul).
And that's how I got to thinking about introversion and extroversion again. Yay. Personalities: one of my favorite topics of talk!
At 9:30am, I park the car by the stadium and board a shuttle bus. The crowd around me is the usual diverse hodgepodge of commuters, dormers, science majors, comm majors, athletes and Olympian-level LOL players. 70 percent of them are listening to something and the rest stare out the window and avoid eye contact with everyone. The walls we affectionately label our sphere of privacy are so apparent that they're almost tangible and no one can scale them unless we let down the drawbridge from inside.
The stale air reminds me of how one morning, I heard a freshman boy say to another boy, out of the blue, "I'm sorry if I smell bad - I still want you to enjoy your ride." (what a brave soul).
And that's how I got to thinking about introversion and extroversion again. Yay. Personalities: one of my favorite topics of talk!
I think extroversion and introversion can be examined in another way, aside from the usual "what size group gives energy to an individual." It's interesting to look at who initiates conversations, how they do it, and what specific communicative mechanisms keep the conversation going. But before I go any further, I'm gonna present my personal understanding of some stereotypes for extroverts and introverts:
1. Extroverts can't maintain conversations for a long period of time and the subject matter usually won't be very deep since they feel like it's more productive to establish connections and set up for "potential" future events to deepen the relationship intimacy later on.
2. Introverts don't like starting conversations first but will open up if someone else initiates.
3. Sometimes introverts won't open up even if someone else initiates because the trust hasn't been established yet and they have some pretty high qualifications for it.
4. Introverts get discouraged when they feel like they have to endure small pointless talk and their discouragement will manifest in either exhaustion/depression, impatience, anger/short temper-ness, or reclusion/dissociation.
4. Introverts get discouraged when they feel like they have to endure small pointless talk and their discouragement will manifest in either exhaustion/depression, impatience, anger/short temper-ness, or reclusion/dissociation.
Obviously, I can present more biases since I'm an introvert myself. Yet I'm still puzzled about some things because while I clearly classify myself as an introvert (albeit now only a moderate one... and I don't limit myself to strictly introvert behavior either), I still think it's really enjoyable talking to strangers or picking up the phone when someone calls or approaching customer service people if I'm lost or in need of assistance.
^Those kinds of spontaneous events might be due to my P attribute though (spontaneity for the win!)
But aside from just looking at introversion and extroversion by degrees of intensity (instead of categorically) to explain the range of introvert and extrovert behavior, I think there's another way of understanding my preferences when they all seem to be an anomaly in the grand paradigm of typical introvert behavior. Hopefully this elaboration of my thoughts will also lend some explanation to perhaps anomalies among what's supposed to be considered as typical extrovert behavior.
^Those kinds of spontaneous events might be due to my P attribute though (spontaneity for the win!)
But aside from just looking at introversion and extroversion by degrees of intensity (instead of categorically) to explain the range of introvert and extrovert behavior, I think there's another way of understanding my preferences when they all seem to be an anomaly in the grand paradigm of typical introvert behavior. Hopefully this elaboration of my thoughts will also lend some explanation to perhaps anomalies among what's supposed to be considered as typical extrovert behavior.
Basically, I think it comes down to an openminded or closeminded interest in people. We can call this consideration "curiosity." We should want to know if people who initiate conversations more often have greater interest in others. Conversely, is it right/fair to think that all those who shy away from interactions find people boring? It's probably easier to see how baseless these kinds of deductions are with the latter example (unless they're a genius who's figured everything out and has no need to empirically and experiential understand the world and gain deeper insight about it - a common archetype in anime).
There are lots of reasons for someone to not speak. Speaking to a stranger is a little bit like public speaking: feeling afraid and unprepared to be judged and unable to anticipate how the communicative exchange will ensue. There's a loss of control when you enter unfamiliar territory. It's not comfortable thinking on your feet especially if one is highly concerned with one's appearance and presentation to the audience.
In my public speaking class, we've had multiple presentations so far. One of them was a teach-back, where we had to teach the class a chapter from the textbook. For many, it was a semi-stressful experience as they prepared to appear calm, collected, suave and professional especially since we're normally not like that in everyday contexts. But another presentation we had was to tell a "signature story," which is a story that only we can tell ourselves. These kind of stories have impact. Pathos. Theatrics (if applicable). And 99% of the time - they're really personal. And, maybe not surprisingly, they were always easier to tell to a crowd than any sort of boring chapter we needed to be responsible for.
To sum it up: the motives for speaking are pretty important and it's clear to me that they can overcome whatever pre-programmed stable longlasting tendencies our personalities are inclined to dictate us to do. I think that goes back to my other blog (storiesforstrength.wordpress.com) about story-telling: I'm curious to hear people's stories and motivated to hear as many as I possibly can. Sometimes my interview questions aren't phrased very eloquently and I stutter during my follow-up, but I'm not gonna blame that on introversion or say that I'm just acting like an extrovert in these occasions. I'm really just being me - always have been and always will be.
As much as I love studying about how the Myers Briggs personalities come to practical fruition in people's lives, I hope people don't find them to be a confining label. One of my greatest pet peeves is the narcissistic introvert, who prides themselves on knowing who they are but not doing anything to challenge themselves about it and limiting who they are to just those letters. Smh.
I can also bring in a Christian element to this: humility. Caring for what another person has to say more than how you look or sound in the moment will overwhelm any personal obstacle (unless it's a presentation and YOU have to do more talking and they're supposed to be doing more listening and you're not having an active verbal exchange). 3Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. - Philippians 2:3-4
There are lots of reasons for someone to not speak. Speaking to a stranger is a little bit like public speaking: feeling afraid and unprepared to be judged and unable to anticipate how the communicative exchange will ensue. There's a loss of control when you enter unfamiliar territory. It's not comfortable thinking on your feet especially if one is highly concerned with one's appearance and presentation to the audience.
In my public speaking class, we've had multiple presentations so far. One of them was a teach-back, where we had to teach the class a chapter from the textbook. For many, it was a semi-stressful experience as they prepared to appear calm, collected, suave and professional especially since we're normally not like that in everyday contexts. But another presentation we had was to tell a "signature story," which is a story that only we can tell ourselves. These kind of stories have impact. Pathos. Theatrics (if applicable). And 99% of the time - they're really personal. And, maybe not surprisingly, they were always easier to tell to a crowd than any sort of boring chapter we needed to be responsible for.
To sum it up: the motives for speaking are pretty important and it's clear to me that they can overcome whatever pre-programmed stable longlasting tendencies our personalities are inclined to dictate us to do. I think that goes back to my other blog (storiesforstrength.wordpress.com) about story-telling: I'm curious to hear people's stories and motivated to hear as many as I possibly can. Sometimes my interview questions aren't phrased very eloquently and I stutter during my follow-up, but I'm not gonna blame that on introversion or say that I'm just acting like an extrovert in these occasions. I'm really just being me - always have been and always will be.
As much as I love studying about how the Myers Briggs personalities come to practical fruition in people's lives, I hope people don't find them to be a confining label. One of my greatest pet peeves is the narcissistic introvert, who prides themselves on knowing who they are but not doing anything to challenge themselves about it and limiting who they are to just those letters. Smh.
I can also bring in a Christian element to this: humility. Caring for what another person has to say more than how you look or sound in the moment will overwhelm any personal obstacle (unless it's a presentation and YOU have to do more talking and they're supposed to be doing more listening and you're not having an active verbal exchange). 3Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. - Philippians 2:3-4
(Huge tangent that I don't wanna save and turn into another text post:)
A friend and I recently talked about getting married (not to each other - just speaking generally lol) and for some reason, "even though" I'm an ISFP and my chances of getting married are higher than normal, I can't imagine who that'd be with. I can't imagine me as a married individual - legally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically in unity with another human being for life til the end of our days. I guess my personality is pleasant enough and I have good times with friends and I have my fair share of boys-who-wanna-date-me dramas, but I can't see anyone willingly sticking around for more than that. It's almost like I feel like there's this fictitious conversation-quota I have with people - not just for the day ('cause that's just something introverts have for everyone) but like, I mean throughout the course of time. Like with so and so, we'll only talk for a semester before it just gets really tough to keep the friendship up. For some it's a few years. For a very rare set of people though, that end isn't in sight for me. And I kinda feel like my future spouse would have to be found in that last category. Of course, people can move around categories. Of course, it's not ever truly possible to run out of things to talk about if we're both living and stuff has happened to both of us and I can just strike up a conversation, but that's almost small-talk quality and I'm gonna get tired of it sooner or later.
I'm talking about the kinds of talks that make people closer (and that's a really interesting topic to dissect in and of itself). The person I marry is hopefully someone I'll never get tired of listening and talking to and it's comforting figuring that out.
I'm talking about the kinds of talks that make people closer (and that's a really interesting topic to dissect in and of itself). The person I marry is hopefully someone I'll never get tired of listening and talking to and it's comforting figuring that out.
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