April 3, 2013

I'm incapable of loving God properly

much less another human being. 
Not because you're unloveable but because I lose to apathy every time and how it whispers I'd suffer less if I just didn't invest.

Because perfect love is kind, patient, holds no record of wrongs, and bears with everything. It's inhumane.

How do I begin to describe an emotion that looks like neglect? It's like I don't think you care and it makes me feel so hollow. Like a split canoe. A frayed shoelace. A flyer that gets passed out on the streets but drops on the ground to record the footsteps of everyone who doesn't see me. 

I hate the word "whatever" but there might be a reason I'm using it more often these days.

okay stop whining now okay

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