The fastest God resolved this dilemma.

When it comes to grudges, it doesn't take much for me to hold your action against you for the rest of my immortal life.

I forget to wait for someone.
He gets mad.
I get sad.
I'm freaking out figuring how to apologize to him.
I get mad at myself.
I'm told to pray to God because sins exist on this world, including the ones I intentionally inflict and the ones that just happen. I've yet to completely comprehend what that means.
I couldn't believe I let him down like that.
I hate being a bad friend.
I hate being raised to not do certain things and doing them anyway.
How many chances do I get to make mistakes?
How many times can I wait for people to forgive me?
What do I do if people don't forgive me? Do I insist? Do I leave?

AND THEN
he tells me to do something
something in me compels me to oblige
something in me can't deny his request because I feel so bad already

ONLY TO REALIZE
that he actually lied to me
so I could do a favor
that benefits him and some friend I don't know

stupid things like this anger me. me and my friend's relationship is so messed up that it takes mutual hating towards each other to fix things. i've put it behind me already. our friendship is okay.

* * *

KEELUNG. I miss the waves.