Tears are stupid and tears are gray.

Salt and water. Dirty and blurry.

Maybe I apologize too profusely. If I find out that there's even 1/100th of a possibility that I offended someone I cared about, I'd jump at the first chance to apologize and make things right. I don't care about pride in this case. I don't think twice about saying "sorry" because it's of no cost to me to say it. Simultaneously, I will put everything into that one word to make sure your stupid face knows that I didn't mean to hurt you and elaborate if need be. Because what wouldn't you put on the line to make sure your precious friendships don't take a dive for the worse?

But there are some people who just can't say the damn word. "I didn't mean it like that." "If I had only known..." "I thought it'd be okay." "Those weren't my intentions..." "I didn't know that you..." "That was my mistake" and "that won't happen again" all don't make up for not saying this single damn two-syllable word that should be the minimum foundation of any halfhearted apology.

It's such a waste of emotion and cognitive resources to be so damn sensitive to every damn joke that bruises me like an old avocado. I need to toughen up so people stop getting hurt by me getting hurt.