What is my stance on dating?

A close friend mentioned that I should probably clearly declare loud and proud about me being single because I seem to keep giving off mixed signals and convictions.

I just don't know, man. It occurred to me why marriage is so beautiful. It's because when the man (in traditional scenarios) gets down on one knee and holds up a ring to the girl - he doesn't just assure her of a life with him, but also of a life without worrying about separation. She no longer has to think about what life might be like after him. She doesn't ever have to consider questioning who she is or who she will be if such a huge part of her identity abandoned her.

I can't get into a relationship and go through another break up again. I am not strong enough to open up and care about another human being with every part of my soul in degrees that exceed my previous experiences even though certain special friendships have already punctured this organ of emotion and it bleeds everywhere without resistance. I want to love without any inhibition and to feel overwhelmed by this promise of a good life and a good future (in God's terms - not mine, of course) and declare to the world that I'm not lonely - I'm loved.

So, to put it simply: I feel lonely. I feel unnoticed. I feel forgotten. I feel second-class. I feel uncherished. I feel disrespected. I feel mistrusted. I feel taken for granted. I feel like an orphan and I need somebody to tell me I belong in their arms.

But people are going to let me down and I'm on my knees waiting for God to say "just look at Me!" I keep people I like, and especially the people I love, at a distance because I'm as unstable as an unpinned grenade and God's ready to shield the world from my wrath and my uncertainty and my destruction with His very body. My soul's tentacles are already clinging onto these blessings around me and its grip is tight and it will never let go but I want them severed. I want it starved. I want to be deprived. I want to find an ultimate and perfect satisfaction in Christ Jesus's love for me.

TL; DR - Yeah, haha, dating would be nice, but it's not necessarily so much that I'm waiting for God's "permission" or "green light" as it is that I need to find and refine these offensively ugly scars in my heart first (unless some d00d out there thinks he's up for the challenge bahahawhateverhahahnicetryokaybye)