How do you feel like a gender?

I had a whole bunch of thoughts I should've written down when they first came to mind on the car ride home from church but this is the only one I can recall.

Bruno Mars sang a song with the phrase "[my selfish ways] caused a good strong woman like you to walk out of my life."

And then I wondered about if I was a good person. I don't think I am.
I wondered if I was a strong person. I'm definitely not.
And I toyed with the idea of what it meant to be a "woman". I struggled accepting that part of my identity because it just sounded too old and too mature. Too respected. Too responsible. Too accomplished. Too aware of the world. Too a part of the history of this place that people are already beginning to overlook and neglect. I sort of feel like a "girl" still but I don't think that word acknowledges my 20 years of life. I'm just a female.

-going on a tangent-
My thoughts aren't inherently female. Or feminine. Right? Maybe my thoughts are unknowingly colored by these ruling paradigms I can't identify or give a label. The hormones that course through my body and my brain and govern my cravings and interpretations - I can understand them being "womanly." But is everything else so estranged from a guy's sense of relation? Is there anything left over, not accounting the "womanly"? I often have difficulty locating what makes me unique but I think now I'm trying to understand what it is exactly that makes me just like everyone else.
-end tangent-

With my last relationship, it didn't really matter what kind of turmoil went through my head because I didn't sit my (former) significant other down and say the words that needed to be said. Because I wasn't strong enough? Because that would've hurt me too much? Because I was optimistic that he was just going through a phase and that it would end? To this day, I think it's a mix of all of those but if I learned anything from it, it's just that I really don't like doing things that make me uncomfortable.

I'm just gonna end these thoughts here and start doing my homework now, which includes:

1. redoing my news release
2. writing a press release
3. researching a cause-related program
4. printing out slides for tomorrow
5. doing 7 pages of japanese homework
6. 5 pages of character repetitions
7. going through 9 powerpoint presentations for my midterm on tuesday
8. two page interview write up

and then i want to finish my anime and my library books, reply to emails, study for the GREs and write a scary story, learn a new dance, start and finish game of thrones.

IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK OF MYSELF TO DO BEFORE 9AM TOMORROW???