Love without condition. You do not know the burdens others bear.

Loving isn’t supposed to be easy or automatic. I wholly think that those who claim to love without any struggle haven’t yet embraced the dirtiest, hidden 1%s of each other. Maybe we’re not all meant to know each others’ secrets, but carrying on with loving under the belief that some things aren’t worth knowing/ too painful to know/ are a hopeless case/ some things are better for others to do is us shirking away from the struggle Jesus overcame BY DYING for people like us, knowing exactly what we’re made of and what disgraces we’re capable of committing time and time again.

Can you love someone who hates you? Can you die for someone when you choose to not get to know their story? When am I going to see the kingdom of heaven fight through our rather pathetic discomforts and hesitations?

I’m pissed off that I know of communities (e.g. churches, fellowships, relationships, friendships, families) built entirely on conditional love. I’m pissed off knowing that people suffer from loneliness. I’m pissed off knowing that it’s a mountain of a battle for a newcomer to try and integrate themselves with a group that doesn’t have anymore room because they’d rather figure out which tv shows their childhood friends just watched. I’m pissed off seeing people who think they’re only in a position to receive and be blessed by the brothers and sisters around them when those who are out of sight are also out of mind. I’m especially pissed off that I go to a school where a heckload of people are gonna go to hell because these Christians prioritize knowing deeper theology and trying-not-to-cross-brotherly/sisterly-boundaries-in-an-untimely-and-inappropriately-forward-fashion and avoid conflicts/rebuke instead of stepping into this mission field.

I’m grabbing that mic and I’m speaking and it feels freaking good to let you all know that you guys have hurt me with your shallow, hypocritical, backstabbing inconsiderate ways but Jesus promises me (and all of us) a future where there’s no such thing as pain or hurt or sorrow because we’re all wrapped up in warm fuzzy forgiveness, and that includes with each other. But you know what? Christ didn’t die for CCF or for IV. He died for an ungrateful spoiled population of blind haughty brats because He loves them. He died to take my bitterness and promise something beautiful and sweet from it as fruit. He died to tell us all know that the righteous Creator of the universe knows what He’s doing and that He can overcome whatever He wants with each of us in mind. Just how are you say “thank you” to someone like that?